God Speed Blue II

The Butler University branch of Lumen Capital is in mourning today!

What is a Dog?

Ok I've decided that the majority of you people need a lesson in what exactly is a dog.  Let's make it simple:

 If you can or must put clothes on it then it is not a dog unless that dog is a sports mascot.  A sweater with school colors is ok.  A polka dotted dress is not.  Dogs are permitted to wear bandanas around their necks as long as the bandana is allowed to get dirty and ultimately ripped apart.

If it likes to get dirty and muddy and kill things then its a dog!

If it rides in a purse it is not a dog.

Finally lets discuss Dogs and their names.

Dogs are named like this:  Tammie, Killer, Sparky, Thunder, Joe, Chopper, Bud, Angel, Tess, even Lucky works.  Sometimes just like John Wayne says they are even just named Dog.  Dogs may be named after beers, they can be named after boxers and even Confederate Generals.  Dogs may also be named after Reggie Jackson, Ancient Gods or Goddessess or emotions that portray Anger or aggression i.e. killer or Chopper.

Dogs are not named:

They are not named after pretty flowers (Rosie is an exception).  They are not named for pastel colors.   Blue is good Red is fine {color of blood!). Whitey and Spotty are also acceptable.  If it sounds like you can buy it at Macy's then it is not an acceptable name for a dog.  If it is a noun, adjective or adverb you would use during a lunch with the Queen then it is not a proper name for a dog!  Biscuit is not an acceptable name.  Seabiscut is OK.  Deerbiscuit is better.  

Some Dogs come with papers.  Others rip papers to shreds.  Some are purebred and some are mutts.  Dogs should tear up you shoes when they are puppies and put a tear in your eye the day they step off.  Dogs should always ride in the front seat with the window down and lay by your feet at the end of the day.  Dogs should not like cat food {unless it is to deprive the cat of nutrition so it will starve} They should also like to feed on cats!  Dogs are friends till death does them part!  RIP Blue II.