What Is This?

The internet is a great communications tool.  It has also become the preferred way for mutual funds and other investment companies to pitch products to money managers.  I probably get 2-3 such e-mails everyday.  Most of the time they're not worth mentioning but this one caught my eye.  Basically I don't know what investment philosophy they're trying to pitch!  I've been doing this for over 24 years and I don't even understand what it is they're trying to say except that they can basically invest using any method they want. I've included the main pitch below.  Almost every investment buzzword known to man is highlighted in Green below.  .  I've taken the name out of the pitch for safety reasons.

XXXXXX LAUNCHES  ABSOLUTE RETURN LONG-SHORT FIXED INCOME MUTUAL FUND

· Potential Solution for Rising Interest Rates

· Possible Alpha Solution for Alpha Beta Separation Advisors

· Two Institutional Specialist Sub-Advisors

SOME CITY, USA,  April 12, 2011 - XXXXXX, LLC, a SOME CITY based investment management firm focused on the Democratization of Alternative Investment Strategies, is pleased to announce the launch of the XXXXX Isolated Alpha Fixed Income Fund, a global absolute return-oriented fixed income strategy. The fund, sub-advised by two highly regarded institutional specialist investment managers, is intended to be an “all season” strategy for investors seeking consistent returns through all market environments. In the pursuit of its objectives the fund has the flexibility to invest in an unconstrained fashion across global fixed income securities and sectors including strategies that go both long and short in an attempt to capitalize on market opportunities in both directions.

The philosophy underlying the strategy is to incorporate an absolute return approach in the management of the two principal risk/return drivers for fixed income investing - interest rates and credit – within predefined exposure bands and a rigorous, quantitative risk management framework.

XXXXXZ Partners, LP, ....institutional, credit specialist fixed income manager, and a wholly owned subsidiary of .....ZXZZZ, LLC  The manager follows a bottom up, research driven, duration neutral, global unconstrained multi-sector absolute return credit strategy comprised of their best ideas across liquid credit markets.  {My Comment:  If this fund is going to get their best ideas, then who gets the worst ones?}

XXXXYZ  Partners, LLC, is a ...New York based, institutional alternative investment manager focused on active duration strategies in developed sovereign markets. The manager follows a fundamentally based, systematized, credit neutral (excluding sovereign credit risk), directional active duration strategy focused on the US, UK, German and Japanese markets.

The XXXXXXX name was chosen to highlight several important themes, primarily the concept of “active decision making” within an asset class. By selecting an absolute return approach the strategy becomes unconstrained relative to a benchmark, thereby enabling tactical responsiveness to changing market environments with greater potential for risk managed results.

REALLY?  You can't make this up!!!